Learning to Let Go

 
We have all had the unfortunate pleasure of having that  person make a guest appearance in our life at some point or time.
 
And by "that person" I am referring to the person that breaks you down, that makes you feel terrible about yourself, and that has done you wrong. It’s the person that left you high and dry, and made you think it (whatever the situation may be)  was your fault. It’s the person that may even wish you would fail, and it’s the person that gives your anxiety momentum. 
 
You may think to yourself, at first, that you aren’t fazed by their behavior and hurtful antics. In the beginning, it may seem to be quite simple on how you should react, and you walk away with your head held high and your pride still in tact. You may think to yourself, “I don’t need people like that in my life”.  And you may consider that individual  irrelevant or even nonexistent to you.
 
But at some point and time it does bother you, and you may even miss that individual thanks to some twisted form of nostalgia. You may reconsider the situation, and it isn’t unlikely that you may wonder if it is possible that you were in the wrong all along. Or perhaps you over reacted, and it's not that big of deal.
 
You may become angry or sad and act out as a result. 
 
People react differently, and it all depends on the situation of course. However, whatever the reasoning, understand that retaliating does you no favors.
 
Elaborate Facebook posts of anger or sadness, blowing up their phone, being nasty to people based off this same mood, and snapping at friends and family or even your significant other does nothing to benefit you. In fact, it does quite the opposite!
 
Now wait!
 
Before you get ready to blow up at me and explain exactly what has happened to you and why you are acting out-take a deep breath! I’m not quite finished yet!
 
(Breathe deeply through the nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale slowly.)
 
Okay, can I continue now?
 
Good.
 
I’m not here to tell you don’t feel. I’m here to tell you that huffing and puffing, being angry, scowling, and acting out to people is doing you no favors. So something terrible has happened, fuck those people! You can't let it get to you!
 
Allow your mourning process, be angry behind closed doors. Cry if you must, scream and howl into the night when you are by yourself, vent to your closest of friends and family if it helps you any. But cut it short. You cannot waste your precious time and energy on these people, don’t allow for them to have that level of control over you! Don’t give them the privilege of being in your thoughts, and certainly don’t give them reign over your emotions!
 
While you are feeling bad and exuding negativity, they are going on with their lives. They are content and probably even happy with your (possibly) outlandish behavior. And by your negative public actions you are only feeding into their ego.
 
Now, we can’t have that. Right?
 
You are a magnificent. Are you going to allow some idiot dictate your thoughts? Are you going to have people give you the side eye because you tried to express your rage over the internet or in person? It doesn’t really matter if your anger is justified. The response you will most likely get is resentment, pity, or embarrassment if your rants, Facebook posts, and conversation is continuously centered on the same thing and person. As for the individual that hurt you, they can quite possibly be pleased by how everything unfolded, even if they are in the wrong. You are the one probably looking crazy. 
 
Don’t allow people to have that power over you, don’t give yourself the unnecessary negative reputation, and certainly don’t allow yourself to become “that person”. You know, the person that people avoid, the person that people whisper about behind your back, or the person that someone unfriend or unfollowed on Facebook.
 
You have more potential than you probably even realize; you are better than that. Move forward, and let go.
 
-Jazz